"In the Breviary for Christmas Eve, we find a sermon of the great Augustine. "Awake, mankind!" he tells us. "For your sake God has become man.... I tell you again: for your sake, God became man." Is this the clue we need? "You would have suffered eternal death, had he not been born in time. Never would you have been freed from sinful flesh, had he not taken on himself the likeness of sinful flesh." We do not like to be reminded of our sinfulness. We do not like to know what is wrong so that we are left free to do what we will.

On Christmas Eve, our redemption is at hand. But it does not work itself out as we might like, as we would have done it if we were in charge. The shadow of the Cross hovers over the Manger. But what happens is for "our sake." We are to be "awake," almost as if it is possible for us to miss the most momentous thing that has happened to our kind. We can, indeed, choose not to see."

Read more from Fr. Schall concerning Christmas and tradition here.

So, after working all morning and giving myself cramps in my feet (standing on your feet for seven hours while you work will do that) I went with my sister on a giant grocery spree for tomorrow's traditional Christmas Eve Feast. I made a pilgrimage to the Trader Joe's that's about 45 minutes away, and then to the nice liquor store (on the East Coast, due to silly liquor laws, only beer can be sold in grocery stores and not very good beer), and then to the regular grocery store to pick up staples. We bought pate and very nice cheeses and olives and shrimp and I'm very excited. We might even attempt Midnight Mass this year, which would be exciting indeed. I'm feeling more and more in a convivial Christmas spirit by the minute, despite all the working I've been doing. I'm on an all Christmas music, all the time regimen, I watched Scrooge with my family last night (an adaptation of A Christmas Carol with Albert Finney & Alec Guinness, my family always watches it right before Christmas), and tonight I'm baking Christmas cookies. There's nothing like being home for the holidays.

(P.S.--it's very pleasant to have people come into the donut shop and say Merry Christmas smilingly, instead of Happy Holidays, or, worse yet, nothing at all. Hearing that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, I can transcend, even if just for a moment, the monotony of working and remember the joyous occasion that's approaching.

"When you ask, believe that I am good enough to answer you, otherwise you will deprive Me of giving."
"Be crucified with Me. To be crucified is to be stretched against your desires, against the love of self...
in poverty, obscurity, and obedience to the Father.
Remember that the crucifixion is the prelude to the resurrection, that is, to all joys."

-- He and i, Gabrielle Bossis

Late in the Night

Late in the night I dreamed I was to die,
to see through change to the unchanging season
where love is said to live and reign (blue sky
is for the called no less than for the chosen);
my love lay with me softly, murmuring
in sleep of cherished seasons come and gone,
sweet passings which in time soured, corrupting
our hands and lips and eyes. Who to atone?
Between two worlds I hovered, tried to hedge,
but no scheme came, only the terror in
surrendering what I am, heartbreak serrating
awareness to a raw and mortal edge,
and I, dense tangle of transgressions, waiting
for the dark, the accusation or the grin.


—Moore Moran

"It is not a novel to be thrown aside lightly. It should be thrown aside with great force."

-- Dorothy Parker

Dislike: Unchecked snobbery. I loathe and detest the "there's only one way to do this, and it seems that only I (and maybe some privileged people that I assosciate with) am privy to this fabuolous know-how" attitude. There's only one way to dress, one way to speak, one kind of music to listen to, one genre of book to read, etc. (and I'm talking about particulars here, not moral vs. immoral, which is obviously the primary deciding factor in any situation) Okay, I know that I can be a huge snob sometimes, so this probably sounds hypocritical to some, but 1) I never act that way intentionally and I try to knock it off when I realize that I am & 2) I still dislike it in other people. I guess the heart of my gripe is that I hate that, at twenty years old, I'm still being told (implicitly, more often than not) that I have to act a certain way to "fit". Being condescended to makes my teeth itch.

/vent

Back home, after a day of flying and driving that felt like it would never be over. But it was, eventually, and I slept in my own bed last night (a nice big one, and it's all mine!). Today I went to Mass in the freezing cold (literally, it was freezing outside) and mourned the fact that, while there is still snow on the ground from the last snowstorm, it's gotten rather sad and greyish-brown. The good news is that it's supposed to snow on Christmas Eve...three cheers for a White Christmas. I also received belated birthday presents from my family, watched Kung Fu Hustle (at long last) with my brothers and my father, read a little, cleaned my room, and lounged around while luxuriating in the fact that I could do absolutely nothing all day if I felt like it and it wouldn't hurt anything. And by "anything" I mean my GPA. However, I did tell both of my bosses that I would work over break, so I suppose I should call them tomorrow and I will have to start reading Paradise Lost in the near future. But Milton isn't so much of a chore. It's so lovely to be home again! I feel so taken care of...my family may be crazy, but they love me a lot.

(I can't believe I didn't blog at all this semester)

Right Here
(is where it hurts)

Fistful of Love -- Antony & Johnsons
Fix You -- Coldplay
Snow Come Down -- Lori Carson
Unplayed Piano -- Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan
Romeo & Juliet -- Dire Straights
Ache For You -- Ben Lee
Miss Misery -- Elliot Smith
Amen Omen -- Ben Harper
Good Woman -- Cat Power
Friend is a Four-Letter Word -- Cake
We Both Go Down Together -- The Decemberists
Hear Me Out -- Frou Frou
My Lady's House -- Iron & Wine
Gagging Order -- Radiohead
Car -- Built to Spill

a mix